You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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