White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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