no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
