When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
