It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize