...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
