I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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