Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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