"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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