I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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