I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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