Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
