chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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