all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
