After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
