I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
