tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
