but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
