Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
