Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
