In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
