so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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