I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
false alarm, still single
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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