Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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