You made me cry and you don't even care
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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