Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
