Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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