Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
