im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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