Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
