I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
