His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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