I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
