I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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