If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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