I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
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I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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