Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
