yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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