Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
