you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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