So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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