you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
