I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
