You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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