Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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