But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
please don't ironically join a cult
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