Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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