We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
