Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
