your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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