Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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