So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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