i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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