Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Let's get the cat blown out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
