I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
