And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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