i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
