dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How many fucks given?
0.12846
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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