Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
