When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
