Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
nutella sex= disaster
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
