Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
