i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
