Duck Duck Cougar?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
