The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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