all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize